What to Keep from 2020

1. Prioritizing mental health.

This one is probably my biggest take home message. That mental health.. for myself, my students, family and friends, is critical. And needs to be nourished, cared for, normalized. Noticing when we are not feeling okay and moving through that by doing what we need to do. Whether that is a phone call, a walk in the woods, or a great big cup of hot chocolate, or seeking support from others.

This is all really hard, and creating space and time and effort for caring for mental health has been one of my biggest lessons. For me, this is waking up with calm.com and doing at least the Daily Calm (and I am enjoying the new, Daily Trips as well) and shutting down when I need to.

Often, I needed to say, that is enough for today. I will now read a book and not be available to anyone.

2. Connecting with loved ones.

We can’t visit our families and go into our friend’s houses. This brought into sharp focus the value of these relationships in a way I think I didn’t understand before this pandemic. I hope to hold onto this into the future.

To say YES to phone calls, messages, coffee dates, long walks, Zoom calls, and eventually getting together. I dream of that day. For the now, it means checking in on my people more regularly and holding space and time for them.

3. Putting your money where your beliefs are (when you can).

I realize I am writing this in a place of privilege. I have a stable job. I have a house. I am a CIS white woman. All of that.

This holiday I tried to focus on small businesses where I could. I know they are taking a huge hit to the mega online retailers. And yes, I have to use those sometimes but I tried as much as I could to shop at small businesses and restaurants. This meant fewer gifts but bigger impact and that felt really good. I want these businesses to survive this pandemic. We need them to keep our communities healthy and vibrant and this has never been more clear to me.

And takeout? What a treat. I think about it for days beforehand. It brings me true joy.

4. Books and Music heal and connect.

I have needed books and music like oxygen this year. Just needed to fill myself up with the good stuff. Beautiful writing feeds my soul, and thankfully, I have been able to find lots of it. A few examples, though thinking this could be a separate post entirely.

I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson
The Tender Lands by William Kent Kruger
Before the Ever After by Jacqueline Woodson
The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

And music? I can’t imagine a life without it. Making playlists that reflect my feelings (see, this is hard) has been fulfilling and offers a glimpse into my lived experiences of this year (election, early quarantine, winter 2020). And, you know, I have been making them (mix tapes) since the 80s, honestly.

5. More humanity in schools.

The most important things and the starkest inequities have risen to the surface during this pandemic education period. Relationships matter the most, and this pandemic has reminded me to must focus on the whole child– the mental, physical, cognitive, and socio-emotional selves in their unique contexts and with their varied identities.

All of our students are handling this time period in different ways, and that teachers and parents must be flexible, positive, and supportive as we engage students where they are — not where we think they should be. I’ve written more about this here and here, and I am still reflecting on this year of education and agree wholeheartedly with this article, and especially this quote.

“But we are realizing what we should have known all along: that you can’t widget your way to powerful learning, that relationships are critical for learning, that students’ interests need to be stimulated and their selves need to be recognized.”

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the more humanity extends to teachers as well. Teachers are struggling under the weight of teaching in a pandemic. Offering support, grace, kindness, and listening means more humanity for all.

6. Activism means being active.

As a white person I have a lot to learn and unlearn about race, identity and privilege. I read, listen and learn about the true history of this country and will continue to. But this is not enough. I listen to the educators of color that I learn from regularly (Val Brown, Kelly Wickham Hurst, Tricia Ebarvia and so many others) and know I need to be active in all the ways I can be.

These places include: In my classroom. In my family. In national campaigns by doing, volunteering, organizing. That reading is never enough. That I must ACT on a daily basis and I am not an ally or an accomplice or any of it unless I am being active every single day toward justice. I fail regularly. And I will keep trying anyway.

7. Day to day to day, the next right thing

As Glennon Doyle says, keep doing the next right thing. In pandemic teaching, that is what I have been doing, as much as I can. Taking it day to day, trying not to get overwhelmed by uncertainty, and working hard to keep doing the next right things. Sometimes that is also saying I have done enough for today.

8. Dwell, when you can, in un-doing.

So much of society is GO GO GO. To do lists. Productivity. And worth attached to that. So this break I am trying to go with what I feel, and try to allow for swaths of not-doing or un-doing, simply being. This is hard when your whole life seems to be a list of ever growing tasks. So stop the lists, just for a day or two. See how that feels. Maybe even just for a few hours.

Letting go from 2020? That is easy. FEAR. STRESS. Comparison. Spiraling, repetitive thoughts. I’d like less of these, forever, please.

What are you holding on to from 2020, and letting go of?

PS- This post was inspired by Elena Augilar’s newsletter on what she is keeping and letting go of from 2020! Thank you, Elena.

November Updates (books, movies, chocolate and more)

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I sit here in the November rain (for about 1,000 days now), with the wood stove fire popping and glowing. I am so thankful for my health, family, friends and school community. What a blur the fall has been — the pandemic, teaching with daily changes, stressors, and situations, the election (which feels like years ago now). I saw something that blew my mind. A simple number, and the calendar. In 3 months, it will be March again. Can you believe that? Oh, how the world has changed. So much has happened. So much loss and turmoil, but also, hopefully, growth and change.

For right now, for the holiday season, I wish these things for you:

What is your list of things keeping you going on the day to day? Mine includes:

Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups (Seriously. These are no joke. Have 1-3 and feel very decadent. Rewarded for making it through the day. But now they are ALL GONE).
Good TV. We recently did a Harry Potter movie marathon and it was so joyful, like seeing old friends, rediscovering lines and scenes I had since forgotten (and yes, I still cried you know where and you know why). We’ve also watched We Are Freestyle Love Supreme (incredible, but parents, swearing, if you care!) and Hot Chocolate Nutcracker (we have a serious dancer in the house).
Good books. Recent high quality reads include I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson (YA), The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker (MG), and All American Muslim Girl by Nadine Jolie Courtney.

A sketchnote inspired by I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

The Calm App. I cannot say enough good things about doing this for 10 minutes a day. Honestly, sometimes I think it is the only thing that can really help me manage my fears and get in the right headspace for parenting and teaching. This is worth every dime to me and is now a daily practice.
Nature. Exercise. Even for 20 minutes. Even a walk while calling a parent or friend. Just get moving. I always feel better about everything after I do this, even if only for a few minutes.

What is keeping you going? What shows are you watching, books have you read? Who are YOUR favorite Harry Potter characters? I would love to hear about it.

And if you are holiday book shopping, I would be honored to have you check out my books! You can look at the links on this page to learn more about each one. You’ll find Salamander Sky (illustrated by Meg Sodano) for your nature loving, curious younger kids, and The Order of the Trees, an environmental, magical novel for upper elementary students. And for the teachers in your lives, I’ve got several options there, too, including our newest, Personalized Learning for the Middle Grades. If you are interested, please ask for them at your local, independent bookstore!

Wishing you and yours well. Stay safe and healthy.

Teaching in a pandemic: emotional labor + decision fatigue + constant uncertainty

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Every single teacher I know: family, friends, on social media, across Vermont education..they are exhausted. Like brand new teacher, working 24/7, going to bed at 8pm exhausted.

They are living day to day. Doing the next right thing. Over and over again. They are simultaneously trying to do right by their students and their families, and colleagues, then also trying to parent, check in on family and friends, make sure there are groceries, and driving to practices, appointments, etc.

This has always been true, but the current situation has magnified existing problems in the teaching profession, leaving many educators deeply bone tired and at risk for the health consequences of that.

I’ve written quite a bit about teacher sustainability and attrition (Why Great Teachers Quit, and more recently, for Edutopia) and how schools can focus on increasing teacher agency, humanity, and wellness. Recently, I wrote about three more concepts that are often hidden, barely expressed, but consume more of teachers’ lives than ever.

They are emotional labor. Decision fatigue. And daily uncertainty. These ideas were not talked about much before the pandemic, and now, I think they are the main reasons teachers find themselves, like I did, unable to hold conversations with my spouse about schedule coordination at 8:30 pm, unable to to read directions on a Get Out the Vote action I wanted to do, and unable to even watch a TV show on a school night this past week.

The emotional labor of teaching in a pandemic has increased exponentially. For those of us teaching in person (and virtually too, come to think of it), we are on heightened alert emotionally, looking out for students’ mental and physical health. With parents and caregivers under significant stress, students are feeling this and are carrying it with them. Teachers have the constant labor of working to keep kids safe at school, with very high stakes. This looks like mask reminders, bathroom monitoring, material/supply management, and careful learning activity planning to safely social distance, or long screening processes.

We hear the whisper.. “If you mess this up, your students and their families could get sick”.

This conflicts with how much I want to help students, as I bend over to say, yes, you can take a break, yes, it is okay to feel scared/nervous/anxious/worried. And then there is the labor of constantly evaluating situations.. is this activity okay? Is this too close? Do we wear masks outside for this game? This lesson? Do I pick up that pencil or book? Do we share books in the classroom library? And then of course, how am I keeping my own family safe spins in the background. Consider teachers who are pregnant, or families that are fighting other illnesses, or preexisting conditions.

All of this combines to create decision fatigue, because teachers were already making thousands of decisions a day — and now– thousands more, with much higher stakes.

It is no wonder that you stare at the salad dressings for 15 minutes, in your sweaty mask, unable to decide. Or can’t fathom deciding what to make for dinner. Our decision making skills have been all used up.

And then there is the creeping uncertainty that chases teachers around like a small, aggressive, barking dog. It is the bark of: be ready to go virtual at any minute. Do you have what you need? Do you have all the materials? Because this building might get shut down at any second. Or your situation might change at any minute. So, be ready. The ground you stand on is not solid. And standing there is exhausting. Behind that is all the news, the stories, of sick teachers, of Covid closing schools, of new cases, a constant bark that unsettles, takes away sleep, and sets you off balance.

So, in all this coverage of teaching in a pandemic, consider the heavy toll emotional labor, decision fatigue, and massive uncertainty is taking on your teachers. It is an often untold story.

If you are a school leader, consider, how can you streamline communications, support your teachers’ wellness, and simplify their lives right now? How can you also do that for yourself?

Because it is only September. And we have only just begun.

Katy Farber

author, educator, advocate, Ed.D.