Needy (a poem dedicated to all mamas of babies and toddlers)

07-10-21_kbp_232This poem is dedicated to all the moms of babies and toddlers who are in the thick of motherhood. Finding that you are losing yourself a bit. Struggling to be everything you need to be. Sleepless, overwhelmed, with too much to do and not enough hands. You are not alone. You are enough.

relentless neediness
constant noise
a perpetual state
of get this
get that
watch this
not that
do this
mommy, now!
I need
I want
I’m hungry
I didn’t want THAT!
I feel a lifetime
of never being enough
creeping in

the constant chatter
requests, demands
chase me farther
from myself
make me take
longer showers
hide in the bathroom
dream of days
in a hotel room
alone.
where no. one.
needs. anything.
and I can just
eat and sleep
whenever I want.
do whatever I want
be whatever I want.

I know I’ll long
for the noise
that feeling of
being needed
of mattering
because it
won’t last

I’ll have so
many days of
not mattering
as much as
friends
clothes
what is “cool”
and I will pine
for when they
needed me
wanted me
and I could give
what they needed
and could shelter
them from the
wild world, waiting.

but that doesn’t
change the pressing
pulling, pushing
feeling of being
a mom with young kids
who constantly NEED
something.
everyday.
all the time.

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